Terminator justice
California is fast becoming a fascist state. First, Governor (choke) Arnold Schwarzenegger bans tobacco from state prisons, knowing that about half of the state's prisoners smoke and there is precious else to do behind bars. Schwarzenegger, by the way, has set up a tent outside his smoke-free state office so that he can continue puffing on his fat cigars. In his next strike at crime and the causes of crime, Schwarzie signs a bill requiring that cars 30 years and older be tested under California's smog regulations. Because we all know those fleets of Cadillacs and Mustangs are the primary cause behind air pollution. This from a man with a fleet of Humvees...And finally, he bans the force-feeding of ducks and geese to make foie gras. Personally, I am opposed to the technique. But how about banning the torture of factory chickens that end up in KFC buckets? Or tackling the disgustingly high amounts of fat and sugar contained in most mass-distributed food in the United States? I'm waiting for Arnie's take on sexual harrassment next. That should be fun.
19th Nervous Breakdown
Groan. The Rolling Stones are planning a world tour. Again.
Fashion emergency
The Daily is fast becoming Comedy Central. The official publication for NY Fashion Week offers helpful tips on "How To Survive Your Hotel". Firstly, I am not sure how apposite the word "survive" is when discussing digs like the Hotel du Cap on the French Riviera (where Brad & Jen stayed during the Cannes film festival). But my doubts were dispelled by this brilliant piece of advice from Giles Mendel (who he?): “I recommend traveling with a knitted sable throw. Those blankets they give you in first class cannot keep you warm on international flights.” Brother, I hear you!
Paris can't spell 'E!'
Waiddaminute -- you mean Paris Hilton didn't write that book all by herself? The hotel heiress attracted a bunch of protesters at her latest book signing in LA, who helpfully pointed out her lack of literary skills. When E! entertainment TV started filming them, they began chanting: "Paris can't spell 'E!'"
Anna's crew
Anna Wintour lives in fear. The stick-like editrix has hired a bunch of ex-Navy SEALs to protect her from over-zealous autograph seekers and paparazzi at the New York shows. Nothing to do with the fact that PETA protesters have targeted Anna for wearing dead animals...
Kabbalah Schmabbalah
Her Madgesty is headed to Israel for the Jewish New Year. Some locals are less than impressed. A religious teenager visiting Rachel's tomb in the occupied West Bank queried: "Madonna? Who's that?"
Fashion wisdom
The Daily, in full New York Fashion Week throttle, has some INSANELY good advice on how to deal with self-loathing, courtesy of a coterie of magazine editors. Gary*, a Redbook editor, helpfully offers: "Don’t get mad at yourself when you say “Fresh with a modern twist” because you know that’s what you have to do to get ahead in the game."
One Dr. Dennis Zinner offers advice for our anguished editors. This is what he had to say about Cynthia*: "She’s seeing the world as nouns. Everything is a noun, a dress, a piece of food. But if she thinks of the world as a verb she can move through it as a fluid being." So remember, think of the world as a verb!!
*all names have been changed
Doing a Lynndie
That cynical lot over at Bad Gas have found a new way to idle away those boring office afternoons -- doing a Lynndie. Inspired by the sickening photo of private Lynndie England, cigarette in mouth, pointing at a naked prisoner at the Abu Ghraib prison in Iraq, it consists of striking a similar pose in the presence of co-workers, relatives and other innocent (preferably clothed) onlookers. And I am ashamed to say it made me laugh out loud.
Holy wigs!
Is Britney losing her hair?
Game love
Sibling rivalry, anyone? In a deadline-defying, simultaneous launch, Nicky Hilton launches her own range of clothes almost the same minute Paris begins hawking her Swarovski crystal-encrusted crosses on the web. The range, called Chick by Nicky Hilton, includes hand-painted jeans and tie-dye tops. "I wanted to create a line that was a reflection of the couture houses that I have grown to love, but on a scale that every girl could attain," Nicky told Entertainment Tonight. And we all know there's nothing more couture than a tie-dye top!
Leo & Gisele? No thanks
Leonardo DiCaprio and Gisele Bundchen took part in some ancient indigenous rituals on their recent trip to Brazil, but they were not a big hit with the tribes of the Alto Xingu region. According to Brazilian gossip columnist Joyce Pascowitch, the locals thought Gisele would never find a husband because she is too skinny. As for Leonardo, one teeth-sucking woman opined: "He is very white to the point where he looks sick."
Crystal heart belly bar, only $15!
Flex your plastic, girls, Paris Hilton has launched her own jewellery line (to go with that book/CD/TV show/crappy film). Poise and elegance are thrown in for free...just kidding.
To die for
What are you prepared to do for a $150 IKEA voucher? Clearly, some people think it's worth dying for.
Get a life
In the too-much-time-on-your-hands department, the New York Times reports that management at Calvin Klein have issued strict guidelines on what employees are allowed to display on their desks. In the words of the Ali G show's fashion correspondent, Bruno, black paper clamps are "whassup" while purple tulips are "Ich don't think so".
Last year, word got around that minions preparing Clavin's coffee had to match the colour of the brew to a paint sample tacked to the wall (really). The NYT reports that in a July 29 e-mail memo, employees were ordered to conform to the "Calvin Klein brand aesthetic":
"Employees were instructed not to display photos, mementos, toys, awards or any flowers other than white ones. 'Colored flowers and plants received should be taken home at the end of the day,' read the memo, which was sent by Tom Murry, the president of Calvin Klein Inc.
A photograph with the memo shows a tidy black desk accessorized with little more than a file folder or two. Approved office supplies that may appear on desks include black or white folders, black staplers, black paper clamps, black three-ring binders, black mechanical pencils and black Uniball Micro pens with black ink. The guidelines also forbid computer screensavers or desktop patterns that are not company-approved. "
