Save Rance
Hollywood is buzzing over the real identity of the mystery blogger known as Rance, who claims to be an A-list actor. Rance has won fans with his bilious tirades against the Hollywood system, but sadly his outpourings seem to have had a therapeutic effect. In his most recent post, he reports: "My Piss Count right now is about a 2.0, my Vinegar Level is about 0.9. When I logged on to rant last December, I was into double digits in both. I feel I’ve gotten it out of my system." Rance is currently auditioning for a replacement. Don't let this happen! Start a Save Rance petition or better still, make him mad. Mad enough to rant.
Hail to the chief
Fox News biased? Surely not! Fellow blogger Wonkette publishes 30 memos by Fox News chief John Moody that set the editorial tone at the network. Here is a sample:
"The president is doing something that few of his predecessors dared undertake: putting the US case for mideast peace to an Arab summit. It's a distinctly skeptical crowd that Bush faces. His political courage and tactical cunning are worth noting in our reporting through the day."
Psych out the Taliban
This just in from the Washington Post: a naturist magazine offers advice for waging the war on terror:
"'As you may already know, it is a sin for a Taliban man to see any woman other than his wife naked and that he must commit suicide if he does,' writes an unnamed wag, who suggests that American women should therefore 'walk out of their houses completely naked to help weed out any neighborhood terrorists.' Meanwhile, men should 'position themselves in lawn chairs in front of their houses to prove they are not Taliban. . . . And since the Taliban also do not approve of alcohol, a cold 6-pack at your side is further proof of your anti-Taliban sentiment.'"
Just Say No, Britney
Great minds think alike. Cafepress (of Dick Cheney T-shirt fame) have also come out against Britney's engagement. Remember: "Just Say No".
Top 10 Worst Album Covers
For tears-in-your-eyes entertainment, check out this collection of the Top 10 Worst Album Covers. It includes such gems as Joyce, a Tootsie lookalike, and the McKeithens, whose lead singer has a dead animal the size of a microwave oven attached to her head.
Gwyneth's cup runneth over
Gwyneth Paltrow sports bizarre markings on her back, presumed to be the result of "cupping". Brr.
Keira goes flat out
Keira Knightley benefits from a bit of surgical enhancement, courtesy of the digital department, in the posters for her new epic "King Arthur".
Intolerable Cruelty
Talk about scraping the bottom of the barrel. A new reality TV series follows a group of Amish youths as they share a villa in the Hollywood Hills with "six young urbanites" (read air-heads). Sounds like "Intolerable Cruelty" to me.
Cheney's F-word on a T
Foul-mouthed U.S. Vice President Dick Cheney is immortalised in a new line of T-shirts available at a webstore near you! Thanks to the Lady Caroline in Washington D.C. for this item.
Tori & Charlie 4ever
Tori Spelling, the world's most inspired B-movie actress since Donna Mills, has tied the knot at daddy's mansion in Beverly Hills. You can still buy the happy couple a gift from their wedding list at Tiffany, which includes a $1,350 rhodium mantel clock.
Is that, like, a hotel?
The New York Times has devoted 10,000 words to stories about the humanitarian crisis in Darfur (Sudan) since May 23. In the same period, it has devoted 17,000 words to stories mentioning Paris Hilton.
Bergdorf bitch
It appears that Manhattan's new literary darling, Plum Sykes, is a bone fide bitch. Read journalist Charlotte Edwardes's immensely entertaining account of her encounter with La Sykes in book promotion mode. A choice extract:
"I tell her that, despite repeated requests, Penguin, her publisher, has failed to send me a copy. She pales to an unflattering shade of grey.
'You haven't read my book? Oh, my God, I can't believe it. So you don't actually know what I am talking about?' Near hysterical, she drops her napkin.
'You obviously have no idea. When I interview a famous author for Vogue, I make absolutely sure I have read all their works.' She takes a deep breath, then screams at me: 'You are so unprofessional - I can't deal with this.'"
The gospel of Homer
Propaganda comes in many shapes and guises. The Archbishop of Canterbury Rowan Williams, head of the world's 70 million Anglicans, has praised "The Simpsons" as "one of the most subtle pieces of propaganda around in the cause of sense, humility and virtue." Try throwing that remark into your next dinner conversation! You will sound clever and wise.
Britney - the new Liz Taylor?
Is Babelogue becoming bitter and twisted? News that Britney Spears is marrying her backing dancer Kevin Federline after a "whirlwind romance" just gives me a sinking feeling in the pit of my stomach. For some reason, I can see myself reading a Britney profile in 20 years' time with a footnote along the lines of: "Britney divorced her first husband, a backing dancer, after 18 months." Or should that read second husband? I'm already losing count. Britney describes her quickie Las Vegas marriage in January to childhood sweetheart Jason Alexander -- annulled after just 55 hours -- as "a total ugh". I wonder if she will come to speak as eloquently of her marriage to Federline.
Polly Jean is the queen
PJ Harvey gave a kick-butt concert in Paris last night. The girl might be tiny but she sure packs a punch. Her voice goes from a shout to a whisper in the space of a heartbeat. Stomping the stage in her shocking pink stilettos, she reminds us what the Riot Grrl movement was all about. For the encore, she was joined by Marianne Faithfull who sang two of the songs they co-wrote for Marianne's new album. While the first song, "Love is a Miracle", drew cheers from the crowd, one could not help but feel a bit sorry for Marianne, who could not remember her lyrics without the aid of a cheat sheet. Her broken voice was soon drowned out by the instruments and Polly Jean's luminous backing vocals. When the lights came up, the crowd went ballistic and refused to budge. We were treated to a second encore with PJ doing a searing solo version of "Rid of Me" before capping it off with a haunting performance of "To Bring You My Love". Major, major respect.
